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Couples and single ladies only.

Upscale lifestyle parties for the extremely sexy and open-minded.

Ladies only.

Where wine & conversation break free!

Open to select single men, couples, and single females.

Take a walk on the wild side with women who love multiple men.

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Ask Sex Kitten-Am I a Slut?

This week's question comes from Ms. Confused. She writes:

Dear Sex Kitten, I believe I am a very sexual woman and love to have sex. I am recently divorced and have been out on the dating scene. I have joined a few dating sites and have been contemplating joining swingers personal sites for some no strings attached fun. I don't want to sleep with the men I date on our first date because I don't want them to use me for sex and leave me. At the same time, I need some way to explore my sexuality and have fun without being judged by men in a SAFE environment. After reading your blog entry about how the woman that met up with a guy from online to have sex with was mistreated, I am now scared to meet men for the sole purpose of having sex. I read the School of Sex reviews from the single women about how they feel comfortable at your parties and am considering coming to one. However, since I will be coming alone, will I be judged and called a slut? What if I only want to play with men and not other women? Will women and couples make fun of me or call me a tramp? Please help, Ms. Confused


Dear Lady Confused,

Thank you so much for bringing up this important issue. Rest assured that you are not the first woman I have met with these types of concerns. In fact, us women have to deal with a lot of demeaning labels society throws at us. When a man casually hooks up with a woman (or TWO women), he is a playa--he's the man! When women want to have fun with a man (or dare I say, TWO men) society labels her a slut. So, I would firstly like to say to you and everyone else reading this post, please, let's do away with labels. The terms slut, whore, freak, etc. have no business being used in a swing party (unless being called that kind of turns you on and it's said in a playful manner).

Secondly, if you do use the swingers hook up sites such as SexxyMofo and SDC, please make sure you check the ratings of the people you meet. Always meet in a public area where you will not be in danger. I have written some further advice in the article seen here.

Lastly, it is perfectly natural for you to want to experiment with multiple men. You sound like the kind of lady that would love a triple-stranded pearl necklace. I can tell you that the single ladies come out and keep coming back to SoS parties because they have a good time and feel safe. If I did not provide a safe, pressure-free environment, the ladies would never come back and would probably warn all their friends. To the contrary, the ladies that come out experience an exhilarating, fun-filled evening and spread the word to let all their female friends know about the parties. In fact, some ladies like to come out in groups or as Mystery, the Pick-Up Artist, calls it--in "sets." But, if you come alone and make it out to Swing School, you will see that all the other guests are very nice and down-to-Earth.

If you simply want to watch your first time, there is never any pressure to do anything more. If you want to join in on the fun, you are free to do so. You are free to choose whom you want to play with and whom you do not. The ball is in your court and the choice is always yours. I believe that just by choosing your sexual partners, you are negating the very definition of the word slut. So, don't worry, you will not be called any derogatory names and will not be judged at SoS. After all, isn't that what the sexual exploration lifestyle is all about?

If you would like more information on parties that cater to women who want multiple men, please feel free to check out the XXXtreme Events website. XXXtreme is the only group in NYC where single men are permitted to come, unescorted. SoS is currently only throwing parties for single ladies and couples. However, if you would like to play with the male half of the couple at an SoS party, you can do so as long as the female is agreeable with it -- which the overwhelming majority are.

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