I know you readers have been waiting for a good, juicy Wall of Shame post so here it is. A man who shall herein be called "the clown" came to a pre-Halloween private party accompanied by a good friend of mine. The party was small, about half a dozen couples. I was told that the clown had previous experience with group sex in an orgy situation, and was attractive. However, more important than experience or looks is one's attitude.
As soon as the clown arrived to the party, he started to act like an annoying frat boy. I excused his peculiar behavior for nervousness and told him to relax. After all, it's not every day that you get to walk into a fantasy-land with a bunch of hot girls who are ready to get down with you. The clown drank a few glasses of wine within a few minutes and started acting flirtatious around a lady with big, beautiful natural breasts. He grabbed her boobs and kissed them. He then turned around and started commenting on my Halloween costume, which happened to be a Jungle Jane bikini. We made out and it seemed that he was starting to get less nervous and more excited. How could he not? After all, where else can a person go and find young, beautiful women who are all about no-strings-attached sex without drama?
A few of us were really horny and wanted to go play, so we walked over to the beds to get naughty. I noticed the clown pour himself yet another drink before he followed us. We all started to strip down and play but the clown stood in the corner. A female friend of mine and I grabbed this clown and asked him to take off his underwear (as he had already taken off his pants by himself). We wanted to see what this dude was packing and what his deal was. Unfortunately, this douche had drank too much within a short amount of time and it showed when he had trouble getting it up. On top of that, he came to an orgy without shaving anything. Yes, he was extremely hairy and un-groomed. Even the massive jungle of pubic hair on top of his millimeter peter (yes, he was VERY small... boo!) would have been forgivable if he was a nice guy. I was completely turned off by his demeanor, so I moved on. The clown managed to get his limp, unkept dick inside my friend's mouth. The insatiable lady was eager and attempted to revive his sad little member unsuccessfully. Insatiable, but not a miracle worker. He remained soft, and grew increasingly annoying. He grabbed one girl's thong and put it on his head to parade around like a fool. No one was laughing, we wanted to fuck! He continued clowning around and came back with another girl's sunglasses on his head.
The clown left once again to top off his glass with more alcohol. At this time, I was deeply absorbed into the my sexual fantasy turned reality. Yes, I was on top of my friend's big beautiful cock and loving every minute of it... until I notice the clown again. He came back into the playroom and was sitting on the corner of a bed yelling something in a foreign language. I believe he was unsuccessfully trying to impress one of the guests by showing off his bilingual language skills. I was just hoping he would shut the hell up and let the rest of us fuck. As I was getting pounded by my handsome friend, the clown made his way over to us to make comments about the dick being so large. Yes, everyone knew it was large and hard -- I had been moaning loudly as I rode it, "Fuck me with that big dick!"
But this guy wouldn't shut up, or chill out. Earlier in the evening, he had smacked a guy's ass and we let it go. But, he repeated his frat boy antics and proceeded to smack the ass of one of the men who was fucking missionary style! I wasn't sure if this guy thought he was at an orgy or thought we were casting for the sequel to Bruno, the movie. It was eerily reminiscent of the scene where Bruno attends a swingers party where he has no intention of having sex with the women and proceeds to act like a fool, touching and staring at the men, as they are having sex. Unbelievable!
By this time, Rocco had noticed and was getting agitated. After he heard another comment or two from the clown, he politely asked, "Can you just cut it out?," in a low voice. The clown mumbled under his breath and walked over to yet AGAIN top off his liquor. He was not only interrupting the hot sex I was having but was extremely rude to the rest of our friends -- I had just about had it with him. I had to literally stop fucking to go over and talk to him. There's NOTHING worse than when a douche interrupts my sexual fun, so needless to say, I was pissed.
Nevertheless, I walked over and talked to him in a very cordial manner, especially given the circumstances. I asked him that since he was not playing with the guests, if he could just stop drinking and behave himself. No one wants a drunk idiot walking around making comments while people are engaging in an orgy and I'm sure he did not want any of the men that got their asses smacked by him to beat the shit out of him. After all, this wasn't a fucking frat party-just a fucking party. At this point, the clown showed his true colors and got extremely hostile with me. "Why should I stop drinking? I tried to play... [but I couldn't get it up]" he said to me, rudely. I replied, "Well, quite frankly, I don't want to have to clean up after you puke. So, just cut it out." To this he replied, "Well, I haven't thrown up in like months..."
At this point, I saw this clown had no respect for anyone and especially not women. I can imagine that no woman in this douche's life probably ever stood up to him but I was not threatened or impressed by his credentials, his demeanor or his lack of manners. I no longer wanted him to stay and project his negative energy onto others. So I told him, "Well, I would like for you to leave." After all, he had already seen the hottest orgy and wildest live sex he could only dream about witnessing and it was time for him to go. The stubborn son of a bitch just stood there and smirked. I politely told him about 5 times to leave. I then finally told him, "Listen, are you going to keep me from fucking? I just want to go back to my friends, so just go," and walked away.
I went back to where everyone was playing. The clown followed me and took his sweet time gathering the clothes that he had left in the play area. A gentleman came over and told me that the clown was also disrupting his mojo and I knew it was past time for him to leave. One of the other guests asked the clown if he was already leaving the party. The clown replied, "Naw, I'm not." Did this guy not understand the words that came out of my mouth? The clown then projected, on top of the moaning and screaming of the orgy, "SHE doesn't want me here" and looked over at me. That was it... I once again had to leave the side of a pretty lady I was playing with and just about to go down on to deal with this jerk. I went over to him and said, "You need to leave NOW! Get out!" The New Yorker in me must have came out because a couple of men adjacent to me came over to help me throw the douche out of the party. Yes, I was successful in throwing out the clown.
If this was the first time a man had acted like a complete moron, I would say it was an isolated incident. However, time and time again, douche-bags like the clown ruin the fun for themselves and others. Imagine, you're lucky enough to witness and be a part of a real-life porno. The least you can do is be polite and respect the hostess and guests. But, what do you do instead? You act like a complete moron, disturb her guests, disrespect the venue and do everything you're NOT supposed to do. So, to all the men out there who are even as half as lucky as the clown to ever attend a swingers party, let this be a lesson to you. You never know when you'll be attending a party that is run by an ACTUAL woman (well, that doesn't typically happen in NYC, but maybe somewhere else in the US) who will not tolerate your horrendous behavior.