November Wall of Shame
November's Wall-of-Shamer is a guy I met at a recent party I hosted. At first, the man seemed fine; he was outgoing and full of compliments. However, after one too many drinks, a jerk emerged. He began offering suggestions as to how I should run the event -- from mixer games to what type of porn I should play. I always appreciate suggestions, but he wouldn't leave me alone! He also didn't seem to understand that I don't force hookups at Behind Closed Doors events. Instead, I let things happen organically. If there is chemistry, couples and single ladies can figure it out! In fact, I told him how much I despise games that force you to hook up with someone you have absolutely no attraction to.
I told him, "Look around, have you ever seen a hotter, or friendlier, crowd at any other party you've ever been to?" He replied, "No." Quite simply, Behind Closed Doors events afford couples with every opportunity to meet other like-minded couples and have fun. It was 10:30pm and already two couples had started get frisky in the playing area. The guy continued to follow me around to the point of harassment. Instead of communicating and flirting with the other guests, he simply trailed me -- I think he wanted to hook up. He reiterated, "Well, you should definitely play games at the parties-let's get that 23-year old couple in the corner to play." I again explained to him that playing forced hookup games were not my style and none of the guests needed to be pushed into doing something they don't want to do. Everything that happens during my party is completely organic and women always decide what they want to do and what they don't want to do. In fact, I have been in at parties in NYC where hosts have tried to force me to do things I don't want to do. It is disgusting and I would never put anyone in such a predicament. Besides, it was the 23-year old couple's first time at a party and they were feeling everything out. Sometimes it takes a few parties to get comfortable. But later in the evening, that couple ended up having sex right next to another young, beginner couple. They felt so comfortable and confident precisely because no one ever pushes or forces hookups at my parties.
After a few more minutes, the man came back and told me "Well, we should get a big, circle bed so everyone in the party can jump in." This man just did not get it. I was not going to force hookups in order for him to get some. I wish he had only put his pride aside and showed up to Swing School. But he didn't and stood around hoping that I would find him a naive, young couple to hook up with. Fortunately, his wife understood what I was trying to tell him. She walked over and made some new friends and the couples hooked up and had some fun. However, this man still gets a slap on the wrist for not understanding that forced hookup games are for losers without any skill and there is nothing sexy about them. I guess I can't blame him too much - his past experiences at other parties have led him to to behave in such a manner.