Perspective of an Intelligent Single Unicorn
A friend of mine, who is drop dead gorgeous and Ivy league educated with a high powered career recently sent me an article she wanted to publish. She is also a regular at BCD and XXXtreme Events, and she has attended events both as part of a couple and more recently as a single female.
No strings attached sex is all I want. As a single female, I don't want to get involved in your relationship. I don't want to go home with you. I want really hot, orgasm-inducing sex in the safe, clean, upscale environment provided by Sex Kitten at School of Sex events. Why don't couples understand this?
I am a member of Kasidie and several other swinger personal sites. Now that I am single, I get even more mail in my inbox. Email flowered with compliments and invitations to dinner. Most of the email is deceptively signed by the female, yet obviously written by the male. Guys, you know who you are. It can be a challenge just to get a working phone number in order to get through to the female half of the couple. And when I ask to meet these "couples" at a party, most are too intimidated and never respond back.
And then there is the mind-fuck that so many guys have successfully pulled on their women. It's happened to me too. When I was in a couple, my boyfriend pushed me to pick up a single girl for him. He convinced me that I should explore my bisexual side. After all, getting another man into the bedroom would be the recipe for disaster -- according to him. It took me a long time just to reach the compromise of expanding our search to a couple for full-swap. I'm bi-comfortable, but I'm generally much more interested in men. But I convinced myself that I was truly bisexual in order to appease my boyfriend. That's the mindfuck.
When we used to go to parties, my boyfriend would use me as bait to pick up a hot single woman. "Baby, isn't she fine? Go talk to her." I would then approach, the way women approach me now. I'd make some small talk, compliment her, and soon enough my man would come over. It was fairly easy to hook up at that point. But my boyfriend's fantasy was to take a girl home. He wanted to wake up in the morning with two sexy ladies serving him breakfast and fighting over who would get to fuck him first. He hoped that maybe such a girl would start coming over regularly, more than a fuck buddy and closer to a second girlfriend. As a newly single female, I am more conscious of the danger in going home with strangers -- and that is the reason why I prefer to play on-premises at the event.
Of course, I was also intimidated by my boyfriend's "second-girlfriend" fantasy. After all, he was my man. I didn't want to share him to the extent he wanted. But his desires gave me perspective. I can now see through all the advances that these couples try to make. I always ask, "So, have you guys tried an MMF threesome for her?" That was something I had always wanted, but could never tell my possessive boyfriend. He wanted me to share him, so why couldn't he share me?
Couples always want to know my motivation and desires. I just want a fun time, good sex, and a couple where both partners are truly open with their fantasies and not limited by the others insecurities. Unicorns are rare -- as are couples who know how to treat us right. Please, follow my simple list of what NOT to do:
1. Don't use your girl to "hunt" or lure us in if she isn't truly interested in us.
2. Don't pressure your girl to explore her bisexuality if she'd rather try a swap or a single guy.
3. Don't think I'm as naive or ignorant as your mind-fucked girlfriend who thinks that she has to go along with your desires to make you happy.
4. Don't boast of your big dick or sexual prowess; if you're flaunting it you probably suck.
5. Don't demean us into a subservient bitches whose sole purpose is to service and please you.
6. Don't create an awkward situation where your girl is clearly not into what is going on and sits on the sidelines awkwardly watching.
7. Don't assume we make less money than you do or have less intelligence than you do.
8. Don't assume that we're yours for the night -- for all you know, I may just make a quick call to a handsome friend who is ready to join me.
9. Don't think that I can't get a guy or have issues if I come to a swing party alone.
Swinging is not a unicorn hunt. Swinging is swapping. Unicorns are an exception to that rule, so be prepared to thank your lucky stars that you found one of us. Focus on us and make sure that your girl is also taken care of. As a guy, you'll have to work overtime to make sure that two women are pleased.
And finally, when I see that a guy is open enough to share his girl with another man, I know they're the kind of couple I'm looking for...
at 9:59 PM