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Couples and single ladies only.

Upscale lifestyle parties for the extremely sexy and open-minded.

Ladies only.

Where wine & conversation break free!

Open to select single men, couples, and single females.

Take a walk on the wild side with women who love multiple men.

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The [Dirty] Business of Swing Clubs and Parties

When I started the School of Sex three years ago, my goal was to educate young couples about the joys of swinging.  The goal was to bring more young people like myself into the swing lifestyle.  After all, nearly every swinger party and swing club I had ever attended was a complete turn-off and the perfect reason for young, hot guests to run for the hills.  The only reason I had gotten into swinging was the fact that I didn't go into it expecting anything.  I was thrilled enough to have sex in new and exciting places.  If Rocco and I had any problem saying "no" to people two or three times our age (or weight), we would have never gone back.  We had to be very assertive and extremely open-minded.

Fast forward to 2008, Behind Closed Doors was introduced as the first and only truly selective on-premise party in the world.  Between the screening and Swing School, Behind Closed Doors set a new standard of quality for these types of events.  No longer was the landscape of swinger parties and clubs dominated by men, Sex Kitten had arrived. In being selective, I also started the selective swinging movement. News of my parties spread throughout the community like wildfire, as did the jealousy of the "competition."

When Time Out NY highlighted me as their cover story for "Secret Lives," the would-be competitors got some more information about me.  I wasn't some man's parakeet and I wasn't hired help.  No, I was the real deal.  And to make matters worse, besides being a strong woman I was also highly educated and business savvy.

I came into the scene without any contacts.  I built up my guest list on reputation and word-of-mouth. I had to find locations and venues the hard way.  But I wasn't running SoS or BCD to make money, so I had a lot of flexibility.  There was never a business plan and I was happy to simply break even on an event -- especially since I was having a ton of fun and got to meet all kinds of new people.

I didn't mind any of the hard work until I saw the dark underbelly of the swinger world, the business owners who had built up a lot of anger.  They wondered why their events were empty, while I had a waiting list.  Some even managed to covertly attend my events.  One tried to sell drugs to my guests.  Another simply watched in astonishment as a hot group of young bodies got into an orgy at 11pm.  What was the secret that he wanted to know?  Well, the party starts early at BCD because everyone feels so comfortable.  Unlike other events, we don't force people to undress or participate.  Guests can take it as slow as they need to.

It was hard to find spaces at which to throw parties, as venues in Manhattan are notoriously expensive.  That was probably the worst part.  I approached the clubs about throwing events at their space.  One owner laughed at me and said, "you could never fill a party with your selectivity requirements, this is a stupid idea."  No, moron -- it's called a niche market.

I've been exposed to it all and I have stories that you wouldn't believe.  Tales of prostitution rings, mob-connections, money laundering, tax evasion, and greed.  Luckily, I've managed to remove myself from these shady characters.

Sometimes, people ask me if they should start their own party.  "After all, isn't it a great way to make money?"  Sometimes I have to contain my laughter.  Even with a keen business mind and entrepreneurial spirit, the swing business is awful...  First, even if you provide an amazing experience, they may not come back (I refer to this as the "fantasy come true" effect; once the fantasy comes true, they have no reason to return).  Second, the expenses are high (rent in Manhattan, staff, supplies, etc.).  Third, you are forced to deal with a lot of shady characters because swinging is generally thought of as a "shady" enterprise.  I could go on and on... 

Then, there is also so-called "competition."  Make no mistake, most of these people are wash-ups -- but they'll stop at nothing to see you fail.  There is no "community" or friendly competition, just lying and misrepresentation.  It's actually quite sad.  Additionally, supporting these parties many times means that you are supporting organized crime and/or prostitution.  

School of Sex, on the other hand, is only here for the good of the swing community.  We are a not-for-profit entity and we charge just enough to cover the cost of our parties.  It's worked well -- especially since I want to continue to have fun at my own parties, not worry about making money.  I have the luxury of doing that since I have a real career, which most others who get involved in this business do not.

While I used to encourage guests to check out every other party and club out there -- I can no longer make that recommendation with the knowledge that I now possess.  Chances are, you're supporting a very bad cause.  Ever wonder why most of these places only take cash?

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