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Upscale lifestyle parties for the extremely sexy and open-minded.

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Wicked swingers club in Montreal

Although the swinger scene in Montreal has changed for the worse since we first started swinging a few years back, Rocco and I always go back and visit in hopes of perhaps finding what once existed.  Like remembering an old romance, we have hopes of rekindling the swinger fun that once was.  What better way to go on a swinger adventure than with one of our sexiest and most intelligent swinger couple-friends, Hera and Apollo. 

Although this couple has recently been introduced into the lifestyle, the amazing sex they have with others is just an enhancement of their already fantastic relationship.  I should know after spending nearly every minute of our extended weekend with them.  Hera is a gorgeous knock-out with a serious appetite for cock.  Apollo is not only sexy but a total gentleman who always brings water (or whatever drink you ask for) to a lady after fucking her exactly how she wants it.  Apollo has the stamina to keep going and going.  You can call Hera and Apollo the "model swinger couple" and were are lucky to have met them.

During out trip to Montreal, we were excited to attend the grand opening of the newest swingers club in Montreal--Club Wicked.  After hearing great things about "Shlomo: and his Wicked Club in Toronto, Canada (which we have yet to visit), I couldn't wait to see what Shlomo would come up with in Montreal.  If you did not know, a lawyer in Montreal who also happened to be a swinger was responsible for legalizing swing clubs in Canada.  He actually took the case all the way to Canada's Supreme Court!   What is a dirty, dingy, underground business in NYC is very different in places such as Montreal.  Not only was Wicked on one of the main streets in Montreal, adjacent to a mall, but there was tons of signage advertising the location right outside.  As the club was on the second floor, we had to look around for a few seconds to find the exact entrance.  We were greeted at the door and walked to the reception area to pay the entrance and membership fees.

When we walked into the club, it was already pretty packed.  Being that it was their opening night, there were rumors that the owners went to regular, Vanilla clubs and invited couples to come party (dance?) at their swing club.  Keep in mind that Quebecois are generally quite liberal and open-minded, especially compared to the generally prude Americans.  However, it is still never a good idea to mix Vanillas with swingers, especially at an on-premise party.  But, Shlmo, just like every other club and party in the world besides Behind Closed Doors and XXXtreme Parties, does NOT reject couples.  The same way a restaurant hopes to book all their tables for an evening and pack the house, swinger clubs hope to pack the house with anyone and everyone--as long as they pay their dues.

Despite the fact that the crowd was a generally older and a more "traditional" swinger crowd, the best having had face-lifts, breast-lifts, tummy-tucks and the worst being old and tired looking, there were a few couples in our age group.  We started out on the dance floor.  The dance and lounge area was well-planned and executed very well.  Beautiful ambiance, lots of room to dance and mingle.  If I was a Vanilla, I would have been perfectly satisfied with the topless dancers, the bar areas, the caged platforms and stage area.  But, since I'm not a Vanilla, it takes a little more to impress me...

We walked around to the back area of the "off-premise" dance part of the club to find that some of the club was still under construction.  In fact, the theme of the evening should have been "the unfinished swinger club," as it truly was.

As nice as the place was, the half-assed effort and c'est la vie attitude of the staff really put a sour feeling in my mouth.  But, let's get to the "meat" of the story--the play areas.

To get into the back area, you had to pay extra.  Yes, the "on-premise" area was an up-sell.  We had pre-paid for our passes to the back and received golden wristbands signifying that we had upgraded tickets, so we went through the back you had to pass through an entrance area where you were handed towels and a locker number.  The back area was called "Shlomo's Penthouse," even though it was not a Penthouse (it pays homage to the Wicked in Montreal, where the play area IS the top floor).  A totally separate play area was actually a good way to separate the crowd -- off-premise for couples who only want to dance and mingle, and on-premise for the more hard-core crowd. 

Just like any other large swing club, people were required to change into towels before entering the on-premise play area.  We were excited.  Unfortunately, because it was opening night the staff did not know how to handle the long line of couples trying to get into the play areas.  It took us about 20 minutes to get back there.  As soon as we did, Hera, Apollo, Rocco and I stripped down and changed into towels.  But, again in half-assed fashion, the club was incomplete and opened prematurely -- the new coating on the wood floors had not yet dried!  Hera and I put on our heels and kept them on the whole night.  Unfortunately, Apollo and Rocco had to walk around bare-foot, resulting in a red coating on their feet that wouldn't completely wash off for days!  The club left its mark, literally.  (The next day, we tried to peek at people's feet in the street to see if they shared our dirty little secret.)

Not only were the floors problematic, but the bathrooms were a mess.  I noticed the toilets installed were residential grade, not commercial.  I knew this was going to be a problem as someone who has literally run hundreds of events, and as predicted, at the end of the night, we found all but one of toilets overflowing -- ewwww!

But, it wasn't all bad.  The play area was quite amazing.  It was easily one of the largest and most creative on-premise play areas I had ever seen.  The play areas included many smaller rooms, some with themes -- a doctor's office, a subway-car -- and a SPACESHIP!  Yes, at Wicked Montreal, you could make your alien fantasy come true! 

We walked around and noticed a lot of couples playing by themselves or next to other couples.  I noticed one MILF fucking an older man (her husband) and a young, hot guy.  I liked that scene.  Hera and Apollo went immediately into the subway car.  It was kind of hot.  I saw Hera holding on to the subway bars while getting eaten out.  Rocco and I walked back to the MILF.  I looked around and wondered why there was a single guy there on a couples night.  I looked around and found some more "single" guys; that either came in with an escort --- or who knows.  I tried to get next to the MILF thinking that maybe we could share the hung hottie she was blowing, but she looked at me and cock-blocked me.  What happened to sharing?   Then, I looked up and of course her old man (who was roughly 30 years older than me) was more than eager to come closer and play.  No thanks, old man, I don't have a fantasy of fucking my dad.  So, we walked away.

More and more couples were going at it, but we all noticed there was not ANY swapping going on at all.  Still, it was hot to watch people fucking each other in different ways.

Hera, Apollo, Rocco and I walked over to the orgy area in hopes of finding other, sexy playmates.  We started to have some fun and soon got surrounded by voyeurs and soft-swappers watching our every move.  The MILF walked over with her two men and started watching us while she played in a bed next to us.  I looked over and noticed that she only sucked her cute playmate's cock but did not fuck him -- what a tease.  The only dick that entered her was her old husband's.  I didn't understand the dynamic between the three, but I wasn't really concerned with them.  I was pre-occupied with hot, drama-free sex that was unfolding before me. 

We had to ignore the crowd around us watching us as if we were actors on stage at a Broadway play.  Apollo and Hera both ate me out at the same time and made me feel so good.  We launched into some crazy, porn star moves and were having the times of our lives.  Picture this... I'm on the bottom getting fucked missionary style from Apollo while Hera was on top of me (pussy in my face) getting fucked by Rocco.  It was HOT!

After Apollo and Rocco wore me out, we decided to take a break.  Looking over at a bed across from us, we noticed two younger couples that looked back at us if they were a soft-core mirror-image of us.  Hera called them "bizarro-us."  Instead of fucking like porn stars, the bizarro couples just sat around and caressed each other.  Instead of talking, the bizarro couples were silent.  They were interrupted by a crazy woman who was yelling "HERE, take some lube!" of something of that nature.  The scene became way too weird for us and we decided to leave.

Towards the end of the night, we made another round around all of the play areas to see if we could find any swappers.  There were a few couples in the spaceship play area.  One disgusting man, who was apparently not a part of a real couple, was walking around hoping to get in on anything at all.  He was unsuccessful; in fact, one woman even told him to get away from her when he tried to get in on the action.  His "date" of the night was standing behind him holding his towel for him.  I wonder if he paid her extra to do that.  No offense to women like her, but they do not belong at swinger parties and ruin the fun for others.  I just felt sorry for her.  That's the problem at most swinger parties and clubs, no one is stopping fake couples (consisting of a male and a woman of the night) from coming in.  Guys, just wait for the single guys night instead of trying to fool people into thinking your in a real couple.  Trust me, you're not fooling anyone.  And, you're definitely not fooling me.

All in all, Wicked was probably the nicest club in Montreal.  Hopefully, they have straightened out the kinks and will attract more, real swingers.  I am sure they will--the swingers are out there in Montreal!  I know, I've slept with a couple of them.          

UPDATE:  Several months later we learned that Wicked Montreal closed.  They were promised a liquor license for the "off-premise" half of the club, but it didn't work out, so Schlomo closed up shop because he was not making enough money to sustain the place.  Too bad...


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